Where it all began…

The reason I started travelling is not as simple as it may seem. It all started with a modelling opportunity and ended with a firefighter never texting me back.

TW for sexual assault

Milan, Italy 2018

Growing up in a small town in Alberta I did not have many opportunities. When my uncle got married in Toronto my life changed drastically. My aunt who had been a model back in her day gave me a surprise by introducing me to Elmer Olsen, a modelling agency owner. I was in total shock when Elmer himself told my parents he wanted to sign me as a model. I was 15 years old. The summer after I finished grade 10, I had given up the opportunity to play for Team Alberta Volleyball to take a risk, and move to Toronto. My sister was 18-years-old and already going to University in Toronto, it was a seamless move. That summer I was dedicated to losing weight, toning my body and making connections. I had enrolled in a Catholic high school where I had to start new relationships all over again. Life was looking good.

Halfway through my grade 11 year I relocated to Italy. Continuing my studies online and living in a model apartment with girls from around the world. In a matter of 6 months, I went from living in a northern truck stop town to an internationally recognized fashion capital. This is when I realized there was so much of the world to discover. After 3 months of living in Milan, I moved back to Toronto where I could no longer contain my love for food and eventually I did not fit the clothes. I finished the school year and moved back to the cold, Alberta.

Grade 12 was very difficult for me. Not only was I overcoming an eating disorder and struggling with body dysmorphia but I had also been raped at a party. In January of grade 12, I started self-destructing. Hanging around drug dealers because I felt like I needed protection (I would not participate in doing or selling drugs), I was giving my body away to people who did not earn it because I felt like I needed the attention and I was trying to understand what was sex, if not rape. To put it in perspective on how bad it got every Thursday there was a popular bar to go to and I would go from work to the bar, to an after-party, to getting dropped off at the school in the morning without sleep wearing the same clothes as the night before. I started working at this hidden gem of a bar in which I would make more money than my teachers. On top of everything, I was also front desk at a yoga studio. I was working 35+ hours a week between the two jobs and on top of that graduating high school. I was doing everything I could to not focus on the ongoing traumas and instead filling every possible minute with distractions until I was so exhausted and went to bed. It may have distracted my days but in my sleep came the nightmares. Everything was a mess and I felt truly alone.

I finally graduated and spent the summer working 2-3 jobs. I had $25 000 in my bank account and I was unsure what to do with the money. One night I had gone out drinking after work and I wanted some guy from tinder to pick me up. He was a firefighter. We went back to his house and hooked up. We had nice conversations and he explained his plans to go to Japan alone for a couple of months. I was blown away by the idea of someone travelling across the world solo. In the morning he dropped me off at my house. He ended up never texting me back after that, however, the idea of solo travel stuck with me. Later that month I booked a one-way ticket to London, England. In my opinion, London is the easiest and most basic place to travel.

The moment my foot left the plane I fell in love with the freedom solo travel had given me. Not only was I in a place where I knew no one, but I could also be whoever I wanted without any existing consummations about me. Living in such a small town everyone knew everything, there were no secrets. You cannot outgrow your reputation. My friends and I have this saying that if one of us gets married the groom better not be from Grande Prairie or someone in the wedding party has probably slept with him. It is easy to leave a place where you feel like you do not belong. If I had not lived in Italy alone I would not have the confidence to have booked the ticket but if I had not been ghosted I would have not booked the trip.

So although my life before going to the UK was toxic, leaving all my baggage, bad habits, people I surrounded myself with and jobs behind, changed my life completely. I do not recommend going to another continent because of rejection and running away from your problems but that is reality and it is not always glamorous.

I hope you enjoyed my first post and learned something new about me. Every story I will share on my website will be along the lines of travelling, sex and boys, partying, being robbed, getting drugged, etc. In my life, there is never a dull moment and I want to create this safe place to show what it is like coming of age while travelling the world. I will be posting every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. xx

Elmer Olsen Agency, 2017