Alzheimers in a Trip
Costa Rica December, 2025
One day you could be walking your dog, slip on a bridge so hard that your retina in your eye detaches. You can drive yourself 5 hours for emergency surgery in Edmonton where they re-attempt to attach your retina. During this surgery an infection in your brain can occur, it starts off slowly and over the next 7 or 8 years you will get a diagnosis of Alzheimers. What can be a normal day with a hard slip can also be your death sentence years from now. Before the diagnosis you lose your job multiple times, your wife is unhappy because she doesn’t know why her 56-year-old husband cannot keep a job, remember dates and is losing coordination. Your daughters are only 20 and 22.
After years of knowing something was wrong but not exactly what because who gets Alzheimers as a healthy 58-year-old? We finally got the diagnosis. It felt like a relief. That we weren’t crazy. That my dad wasn’t a loser he was just sick. I had just turned 22. I was putting myself through Power Engineering school, working two jobs, was in a new relationship with my now boyfriend, living by myself in an apartment. Life was busy. I graduated on a Friday and started my first Power Engineering job on the Monday. Days off I would work my 2 other jobs and try to be present in my relationship. I was quite unhappy.I didn’t have time to be depressed, I wasn’t sad but I was constantly unhappy.
Fast forward a few years, I am in a good place. In a strong relationship, good living situation, good job and lots of things to look forward too. I was in the mental and financial state to take my dad on one last trip. Something we had been talking about for years. I did the research, booked a trip to Costa Rica, a place I had lived before, where I knew the town, where to eat, what to do. What could go wrong, right?
Turns out a lot can go wrong. I don’t even want to go into detail because I am not ready to relive it but I was scared. Probably the most scared/longest consistent period I have been scared ever. It wasn’t that I was under prepared or didn’t know what I was doing but he was gone. It fast forwarded what his Alzheimers will look like in a few years I am sure. I saw him leave his mind and was just left with a toddler. I don’t know to explain it. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
I am glad I went. I will never be left wondering what if? I will have no regrets, and I now have a deeper understanding of what is to come. I’m not the best daughter, my sister is better then me and helps 10x more and that is okay. Having a dad with Alzheimers is confusing, and I do not know what to do most of the time. I am just doing my best I can. I do not owe my parents my life and well being to take care of my dad, yet there is a balance and most of the time just hanging out is enough.
If you are dealing with a sick family member I know how challenging it can be. It can feel consuming and always in the back of your mind. It is a tough situation and most people will never understand because each situation is very unique. I have no recommendations on what to do but when I find solutions that work for me I will share them. For now I am shifting my focus onto training for Kilimanjaro.
Not the story that I usually write, yet another lesson learned the hard way.